Meet Princess Consuela
by Supergleekspider
Summary: Based off of a scene in Friends. Rachel and Quinn are newly married and are deciding on what their last name should be, but Rachel might have made that decision during a drunken night. ONE-SHOT.


**This is just a one-shot crack!fic that just came to mind, yes I have a weird mind don't judge me. Based off of a scene from Friends but altered slightly. **

**I don't own Friends or Glee.**

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It was a party gone wrong. Rachel had attended a cast party for the last show of her first broadway play, and she might have had one too many. Rachel considered herself a woman of many talents, but aparently getting your name leagally changed while drunk is not one of them.

Rachel was newly married to her high-school sweetheart, Quinn Fabray, and she couldn't be happier. Over the past week the two have been discussing if they wanted to change their last name to Berry or Fabray or Berry-Fabray or Fabray-Berry, but they haven't made a definite decsision yet. So when Rachel got the mail while Quinn was at work this morning, she was shocked to open an envelope that contained a paper that confirmed her legal name change. She was more shocked to see that she wasn't Rachel Berry or Rachel Fabray or any of the names she had discussed with her wife, or anything remotely close.

She was now Princess Consuela Bananahammok

She was about to break down right then and there. Not only had she had to go out on broadway as _that_ but she had to explain to Quinn what happened and thats not a conversation she wants to be there for.

Which brings her here. She asked Quinn to meet her at the cafe that the two knew very well and ended up being their meet up place for her, Quinn, and their friends on a daily basis. Just when she gets completly emerged in her thoughts Quinn had walked into the door.

_Here we go._

Quinn had walked up to her and pecked her on the lips.

"Hey babe, I missed you."

"Yeah me too." She put on her best smile.

"So, how'd it go last night, my little star?"

"Yeah that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I might have had a few too many."

"Uh oh."

"Yeah 'Uh oh'"

"So what did you do?"

"Well... Um... I'm not Rachel Berry anymore."

"Wha-.. Oh! You changed your name?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry I don't know what came over me."

"Well, that's Ok maybe it's a great choice what did you pick?"

"It's not a great choice, but you have to keep in mind that I was drunk."

"It's not Streisand is it?" Quinn joked.

"I wish"

"C'mon it can't be that bad just tell me."

"Ok... meet... Princess Consuela Bananahammok." She whispered that last part for only Quinn to hear.

"You're kidding right?"

"I wish I was."

"They let you do that?" Quinn asked and Rachel just shrugged. "Well you gotta change it back."

"I can't."

"What? Why not?"

"I don't want to be known as the broadway joke that screwed up and changed her name twice."

"Who cares what people think! You made a mistake, everyone does. At least you didn't get pregnant."

"Yeah but this can really hurt my career. And maybe it won't be so bad, it's fun, it's different, no one else has a name like that."

"You cannot be serious."

"I'm not going through that humiliation of being known as a drunken joke Quinn."

"Ok, fine then I'm gonna change my name."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"Alright what are you gonna change it to?" Quinn thought for a moment.

"Crap bag."

"Really. Quinn Crap Bag."

"Nope, no Quinn, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, Last name Bag."

"You're not serious right?"

"Yeah I'm serious. It's fun, it's different, no one else has a name like that."

"Well than Great! If you love it, I love it."

"I do love it. and I love your name, I love Princess Consuela."

"And I love Crap." Rachel realized what she said and Quinn couldn't help but laugh.

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After the two talked for a while they decided to leave the cafe. On the way out the pair ran into one of Rachel's co-stars.

"Hey!" The woman said to Rachel.

"Hi how are you?"

"Great, that was some party last night huh?" The woman said. Quinn answered her question istead of Rachel.

"Haha Yeah. Some party, Right Rachel?"

"Oh Quinn this is Ashely, one of my co-stars."

"Oh, why don't you introduce me." Quinn said and Rachel turned back to Ashely with much reluctance.

"Ashely, This is my wife." She said simply. Ashely stuck her hand out to Quinn and she shook it. Quinn turned to Rachel.

"Why don't you tell her my name?" Rachel just glared at Quinn who smiled innocently at her.

"This is... my...umm, wife..um... Crap Bag." Quinn just smiled at Ashely.

"Crap Bag." Ashely said simply.

"If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap." Quinn said.

"Ok, um, excuse me." With that Ashely left. Rachel turned to Quinn.

"Ok, fine you made your point. Can you please just be Quinn Fabray again?"

"Only If you're Rachel Berry."

"How about Rachel Berry-Fabray."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Rachel Berry-Fabray bananahammok." Quinn just laughed at her wife.

"Okay what is your deal with bananahammok?"

"What? It's a funny word."

"It's a speedo."

"Oh crap."

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**Thats just a glimpse into my scary mind and the fact that I'm excited that tomorrow is the last day of school before Thanksgiving break.**

**Please review! Thanks for reading**


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